I love C. S. Lewis' response to someone who is struggling with the thought that her husband (now dead) may be destined for eternal torment. The questioner thinks that if this is the case, wouldn't it be better if God erases the memory of her husband? Lewis, rather than respond in theological fantasy and semantical ambiguity (that sometimes clouds my answers) offers what in my mind is saintly (godly) and sagely advice
"When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."
Reminds me of the greatest Saintly Sage: Matthew 6:33